The User Research Project That Changed Me

Throughout my career, I’ve worked on research projects that changed the course of products. One project, however, changed me.

A company hired us to investigate why they were losing customers to a new competitor. On paper, it didn’t make sense. They’d been the industry standard for years. The competitor was newer, more expensive, and, according to our client, offered a less polished experience.

This company was in the business of evaluating others. (Think auditors with clipboards.) They assumed the problem was tactical: process, documentation, lower standards. So, we went out and talked to their former customers. We interviewed multiple people in varying roles across a large number of companies, from C-suite leaders to interns.

What we found was... stunningly consistent. It wasn’t about the price, or the process, or the materials.

It was about how people felt when the auditors showed up.

Interviewees described the experience using words like judged, shamed, and demoralized. They felt small. Exposed. Incompetent. They felt like they were failing before the conversation even started.

The competitor identified the exact same issues. But, people's experience with them couldn’t have been more different. Customers described feeling encouraged, supported, and motivated. The tone was collaborative. The energy was hopeful. They felt like someone saw their potential and wanted to help them grow into it.

The difference? It wasn't the findings. It was the delivery.

Our client was literally losing business because of how they made people feel.

Let that land for a second.

I’ll never forget presenting our findings. We’d distilled hours of interviews into two word clouds that we printed on giant foam boards and lugged into the boardroom. One captured how people described our client: scolded, punished, judged. The other, how they described the competitor: collaborative, inspiring, uplifting.

That moment changed the company’s trajectory.

It changed mine, too.

I’d grown up in design through the punishing ritual of critique. I knew how to dismantle something. I knew how to be right. But, I hadn’t been taught how to create momentum, or hope, or partnership. I hadn’t been taught what it meant to bring energy that lifts instead of flattens.

After that project, I started paying more attention to what it felt like to work with me. I couldn't rely on the quality of my thinking alone. I needed to rethink the experience of my presence. I shifted how I gave feedback. How I led teams. How I showed up in hard moments.

I learned that it's not about avoiding the truth or glossing over what’s broken: it’s about offering truth as a starting point, not a scolding. It’s about approaching change as possibility, not punishment.

We talk a lot about designing products that are delightful to use. We should also care about being people who are meaningful to work with.

I don’t always get it right. But it’s the kind of designer — and the kind of leader — I want to be.